Hindsight is 2020: A Ritual for Self-Love and Resilience

Hindsight is 2020: A Ritual for Self-Love and Resilience

I remember thinking a lot back in January about the wonderful fact that the year 2020 was symbolically synonymous with clear vision. This certainly was a good omen signaling twelve months of knowing exactly what I wanted and exactly where I was going, right? Nearly finished with this shit show and … well, yeah not so much. Like most of us, I spent the bulk of my year in the great unknown, unsure if that day would be defined by the pandemic, the recession, the election, threats of wildfire, or -- as was often the case -- some combination of all of the above. Clear vision? Try extremely, unequivocally blurry.

It is *very* easy to focus on what we didn’t accomplish this year and to look at any extra weight, tears, and depression as signs that we didn’t measure up to how a human is supposed to behave during these times. But spoiler alert: experiencing all of these things is exactly what being a human is all about. 

And even among the wreckage of this year, there is much to be savored about what we learned and experienced. It might not have been the story that we wanted to write, but to be sure there are nonetheless compelling tales of survival, love, and personal growth. We just need the right perspective to acknowledge them. 

Our Hindsight Is 2020 ritual is meant to focus on the Story of You this year, as viewed through the forgiving lens of self-compassion. Because no matter how you made it through this year, the bottom line is that you made it. Let’s take a moment to celebrate that.

Hindsight Is 2020 Ritual:

What you need:

  • A Black Obsidian Sphere (this is our favorite truth-teller, but other crystals that will work: Clear Quartz, Sodalite, or Celestite)
  • Paper and a pen 
  • Optional: a candle and soothing music

What to do:

  • Find a quiet place where you won’t be bothered. 
  • Light a candle and play music if that calms you.
  • Sit with the Black Obsidian sphere (or other crystal) in your hands, taking deep measured breaths. Take as many as you need to feel present in the moment. The Black Obsidian is renowned for its ability to draw out your honesty so that you can see your true self.
  • Make three lists:
    • The first is a list of moments you remember from the year. They can be positive or negative -- the important thing is to jog your memory. (Example: “washing down groceries.”)
    • The second list is your personal emotional association with that memory. Again, positive or negative is fine. (Example: “scared, protective, grateful”)
    • The third list is a thing you learned about yourself from this moment. (Example: “I am tough, devoted to my family, and adaptable.”)
  • Now, write a love letter to yourself: This is where your self-compassion lens comes in: what would your best friend, the most non-judgmental, most supportive, and most accepting person in the whole world tell you about yourself and how you’ve handled yourself in 2020. In other words, What Would Lady Gaga Tell You? 
  • Keep this self-compassion letter as a memory to refer to whenever you need a reminder of how incredible you are. We like to keep ours next to the Black Obsidian sphere, power feeding power.

Maybe we weren’t so off on 2020 being the year of clarity. It just took looking back on it, using self-compassion as our guide, to clearly see it.



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